Friday, August 22, 2014

Licking the Feet

Every kid has his or her quirks.  Usually something that is a mere annoyance until it's shown in public and then the parent panics, thinking the world is going to think their parenting skills are lacking.  Nose picking comes to mind.

But then there are our children.  :-)

We are a family where quirkiness is the absolute norm.  Where behavior has no bounds and common sense doesn't exist. A group of people that if you didn't know better, you'd think scheemed to see which of the 4 could come up with the most random, stressful, embarrassing, or unpredictable act of "whatever".  As if they were in a contest to see how quickly they could make The Mamma gray.

The Bunny:

Actually there isn't too much to say about the Bunny in this department.  He's a pretty normal kid in this area, however...

He's always too full to finish his meal, but I'm constantly finding food remnants in various places of his room, the car, and his pants pockets.  Petrified cheese, crumbled crackers, half eaten hamburger buns, rotting apples... milk.

He can't handle throwing anything away.  We had tears once about a chicken nugget box.  "We could use that for something!"  This boy is not lacking for toys, he pretty much has all a kid could want and more.  I don't get it.

Regularly blurts out awful, random, superloud noises.  Just because.  Usually while in some confined space like the car.  Or in the hallway at church during services.

Sleeps in day clothes, under 4 blankets, in July.


Complains about 90% of all meals given to him.  Not always just a whine, but often a full on loud, teary, flopping on the floor freakout.

Oh and the whiny freakouts.  He will do them anywhere in front of everyone.  Anything that rubs him the wrong way, is not what he expected, or causes him to be discontent will result in a response not unlike that of a child having his fingernails pulled out with pliers.  He's our smallest boy on the growth scale but definitely the loudest.

But just because he's the loudest, doesn't mean he likes noise.  He cannot handle being in a classroom full of loud music and children.  Go figure.

Within a sentence or two of confronting a stranger, Hannes makes sure they know that Lammy is autistic and that "I'm only a little autistic".  He then proceeds to speak to said person about all sorts of random things, and won't allow anyone a word in edgewise.  (It's kinda cute really.)  Things like, "We don't have a sister" or "I know two swear words" or "I'm in the second grade, in a high functioning class, at 'fill in the blank' school, and my address is blah blah blah and my mom's social security number is..."  You get the idea.

(It will be interesting to see the first time he answers a telemarketing call... Hee Hee!)

Everytime something gets bumped, scratched or hurt, he either licks the wound, or if it's not easily located by the tongue, his finger and then wipes the wound with the wet finger.  It's so gross.  :-P

Can't seem to remember what in the public bathroom is clean or dirty.  Hubs hates to take him into the men's bathroom because, well, use your imagination.  It's not much better in the women's either.

He's also quick to tell us his bowel issues in detail.  I remember not long ago a loud Hannes yelling at us from the bathroom saying, "Mom.  Mom!  I have diarrhea REALLY BAD and am DEFINITLEY going to use A LOT of toilet paper."

Hannes has a thing for handling his "parts" in public and anywhere else.  He's the kid in the front row (because he's short) that has his hands down his pants, dancing like crazy, during the Christmas Program.

He will find a favorite food and beg you to purchase it again.  When you find it on sale, and buy enough to fill your fridge, he takes two bites and decides the flavor is too strong.


Can't handle you being in the car without the heater vents pointed a certain way.

Can't handle having arm rests in the "up" position in the car either.

Hates having his hand held.  When you are in a situation when you absolutely have to (because he's misbehaving in public or whatever) he screams at the top of his lungs, "OUCH!  YOU'RE HURTING ME!!!!!"  Over and over and over.  We usually get great looks from other adults when this happens.  :-/

Changes his underwear 2-6 times per day.  Just because.  Then borrows Hannes' when he runs out of his own.

Doesn't like to wear clothing, except underwear.  He often leaves a trail of clothes the minute he walks into the house.

Has to sleep with the overhead light on, in a pile of stuffed cats.

He also can't stand having someone else's items in his room.  If it's in there and you're saying "Goodnight", he will insist you remove the item(s).

Lamb is "allergic" to anything he doesn't like to eat.  Which is a lot.

When he gets upset he often says something like, "I'm going to stick you on the power lines, barbeque you and eat you for lunch."  He has no idea the severity of what he just said, but it's still creepy.

Smells his hands ALL THE TIME.

Recites snippets from washing machine videos on Youtube.  This is his favorite one.  He can tell you the manufacturer names of most of these.

If allowed, he would spend hours watching other peoples' dirty clothes agitate.  I'm not sure why people even record this, but there are sure a lot of videos to choose from.

He also walks up to random strangers and asks them what kind of washing machine they have.  Then tell them they "should really get a Whirlpool."

Will say things like, "What did you just say?"  After you answer his question.  Even though he's standing right next to you.  His hearing is fine.  He just does it because.

Must use the bathroom everywhere we go (this is a new one).  He's interested in knowing the brand names on the porcelain.  If you tell him no and that he just went 2 times at the other store just 5 minutes ago, he makes sure everyone in the store knows that he has to go to the bathroom and that you aren't letting him.  Oh, and that because you aren't letting him go that he's going to die.

He often doesn't have a lot of common sense when it comes to rough housing and otherwise.  It's like he thinks he's 4 years old and no bigger than anyone else.  If you've seen him, he's our biggest kid.  Big, blond, took after the German/Norwegian side boy.  We have to keep a close eye on the Monkey when they play together.

The Monkey:

The alphabet is what he lives, eats, and breathes.  Everything is associated with the ABC's.  EVERYTHING.  Meals, play, television, books, conversations, potty time, you name it, he brings the ABC's into it.  Sometimes numbers make an appearance too.

Has to go down or acknowledge all the numbers on the aisles in the grocery store.  If you don't do it in order, you hear about it in a big way and there's no getting over it until you go through the paces for him.

This can also be seen in his alphabet singing or play.  It's a big deal when someone moves his alphabet blocks or write something wrong on paper.  If it's not his way or in his plan, he freaks out.

He also insists on having the same pair of shoes every time we buy them.  We're successfully trying to break him of this as they no longer make that particular pair.  :-(

Licks his fingers and draws the alphabet on just about everything.  Windows, walls, car bumpers.

Has a thing for rubbing his face and putting his mouth on the linoleum of the doctor's exam room floor.  Not sure why just that floor, but that's his thing.

Has been known to vomit at bathtime over fear of being wet.  :-/

The hands are in the mouth often, and typically just after he's handled the toilet.

As you can see, we don't do family dinners out, or go to the mall, or really go out much of anywhere public these days unless we absolutely have to.  Just the grocery store is often a 2 parent task.  Of coarse with all the quirks (and this really is just a snippet) they do have some pretty amazing attributes as well.  That post will be published soon.   :-)

"Mom?  Can I flood the toilet?"  "No, you cannot flood the toilet."  "But why mom?  I've never flooded the toilet before."

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